What I thought being a SAHM would mean vs what I am

My house will be spotless.

I thought... "I'm home all the time so I'll have tons of time to clean and have a perfect looking house". Wrong. We are constantly LIVING, and COOKING and PLAYING so there is never a shortage of dirt, or dishes, or toys laying around. I'm not saying Moms who work out of the house don't have messes too (I'm imagining bags crowding walkways- think school bags, diaper bags, work bags, grocery bags,etc., drop spots overflowing, to do piles stacking up and the constant packing lunches/diaper bags and unpacking and repacking and all the mess that comes with that). I'm just saying I thought a nice thing about being home meant I would have time to clean it up.

I'm not going to feel as tired because I'm not working at a job and working with others all day.

Well this was just silly because every parent is tired. Our life is so constant 24/7 with sleep that is broken, minds that are racing, lists that are accumulating and we can never be 100% caught up.

I would be in the best shape of my life- because you can go on walks all the time or exercise using the kids.

I'm not saying this isn't true for some Moms but its just not for me. When I get to workout its mostly for sanity, not vanity- and I don't spend all day taking stroller walks or doing exercise videos while the kids play (not that I thought this would be my whole day). But at home workout videos mostly don't work because my dogs (they do not allow for dance parties easily either), walks are great but can mess up a nap easily, and so workouts became my "me" time and usually are 30-40 minutes in the morning before Dan has work of whatever I can get in order to be healthy and get my blood pumping.

I will always cook these really gourmet and healthy meals and snacks.


Nope. I don't have the hands or time to do that. I will always try my best to fuel my family healthily and help my kids learn how to treat their bodies.... but I do not have time to always make the ideal Whole 30 recipes I desire. So thank goodness for pre-prepped meals from Wegmans, our crock pot, and for spaghetti being one of the easiest and fastest crowd pleasing meals- although it is not the healthiest. I just focus on: not filling the cabinets with junk, offering fruits and veggies as a snack first, and making sure everyone is fed.

My kids will always look put together because there's no rush to get out the door.


Except that 1 year old girls pull out hair ties, and little boys like t-shirts with characters on it (not a huge fan of things with all these cartoons on it for some reason although I know its so classic kid and makes t fun for them to get dressed) and their shoes will be comfy to allow for play along with clothes that movable so they feel good. Since Will hates haircuts, his hair will always be crooked or uneven. Liv is a baby so naturally gets messy when she eats- leaving drool and stains on her shirt.

Since I don't have to rush out, I will be able to get myself ready for the day and look my best (i.e. hair and outfits).

Ha. I am also not a girly girl(so this definitely sways my priorities), but I just do not have the energy to spend all this time on my hair, to then have it pulled, dirtied or frizzed out in an hour. Up and off my neck and face make me feel ready to run, jump, climb, crawl and conquer whatever the day will bring. I like to think this makes date nights more special because then I actually am dressed up and put together and it is a treat for everyone! :-)

Nap time will be the most productive time of the day for myself.


First off, nap time doesn't overlap much. And when it does I use it to do something relaxing since it's literally the only time I can. I can always figure out a way to do the dishes or fold the laundry with the kids running around- but I cannot always browse the internet, or write my thoughts out or watch a show and eat a snack in peace. There are days I feel better getting stuff done during nap, or have to use nap to do things... but most of the time nap time, if given to me, is me sitting down with lunch or a snack and a drink, being yelled at by my dogs for their lunch or outside or just because I'm in their spot, me getting up and attending to them ASAP so I don't miss a beat, sitting back down and doing something for 20 minutes max before one of the kids wake up. And that routine will change 5x in the next year because sleep and kids are constantly changing ... which brings me to my last point.

Our days will be smooth sailing because we are in such a rhythm and routine since I have complete control over how the day goes.

Yes we implement routines AND we do have rhythms to our days AND our kids know what to expect and all that. BUT, everything is always changing. The way Will goes down for nap, the awake time for Liv before she gets tired, how many naps she is taking, what time Will woke up that morning, if Dan is home to help with nap time or not. All these factors affect how things go down (or don't). So, although in my head I pictured everyday looking very similar and having an exact nap time as the norm and routine... it's not. At least not in our household.


Ultimately all these expectations were wishes I put on myself. To be the best Mom and flawless int he lifestyle we chose where I got to be a stay-at-home-mom. It's just like anything you care about, you want the best and to do your best. But, in the short 2+ years I've been a Mom I've come to learn my most important priorities are:

1.Do the kids feel loved and happy? Yes.
2. Do I create an environment to explore, play and have fun? Yes.
3. Is everyone growing, healthy and comfortable? Yes.

Well then, good. Job well done!